There we were, sipping a cup of tea and having a chat. My kids were in the house with their respective friends, each on either side of the house. Their laughter was loud and carefree.
My wife and I sat on the lounge listening, smiling at the sound of the happy chaos. And then it hit me: One day they’ll be off building their own lives… or will they?
It started as a parenting thought, but quickly became something else. A question not just about my kids, but about all of us. Because lately, it feels like the traditional path—leave home, get a ‘good’ job, buy a house, become “independent”—is no longer the default. It’s an uphill climb.
Whether you’re raising kids, navigating life solo, sharing a place with your sibling or ageing parent, or simply trying to afford rent in your 30s and beyond, this conversation isn’t just about the nest. It’s about how much harder it is these days to fly.
The Empty Nest Dream vs the Reality
There used to be this rhythm: grow up, move out, figure it out, settle down. Parents faced that day, whether wanted or not, to reclaim space, time, and peace. Kids chased their freedom with keys to their first rental. But the rhythm’s been disrupted by economics, housing stress, and a shifting reality.
More and more people are finding that independence isn’t about age—it’s about affordability. And the nest? Well, it’s not so much “empty” as it is… reconfigured.
Why Independence Is Slipping Out of Reach—for All of Us
This isn’t just a generational issue—it’s a national one.
Let’s talk real life:
Over half of men aged 18–29 in Australia still live at home. Nearly half of women do too.
Renting a one-bedroom unit in most capital cities takes up over 40% of a median entry-level income.
Mortgage repayments are rising, housing supply is low, and job security isn’t what it used to be.
And it’s not just young adults. People of all ages are:
Living with extended family to share costs
Postponing home ownership, travel, or career changes
Relying on side gigs or second jobs to get by
Even professionals earning solid incomes are feeling squeezed. Independence—financial, emotional, or physical—is harder to access, let alone sustain.
Redefining the Nest
The “nest” is no longer just a space parents hold for their children. It’s a metaphor for stability, self-sufficiency, and future planning—and right now, all of that feels uncertain for many Australians.
You might be:
Parenting teens while caring for elderly parents
Supporting your adult child through their third share house move
Sharing a rental with siblings, friends, or in-laws to save on rent
Postponing your next life chapter—travel, business, even relationships—because finances keep getting in the way
Regardless of age or stage, the question remains: how do we move forward when the goalposts keep shifting?
How It’s Affecting Our Lives (and Work)
This isn’t just a personal issue—it’s creeping into our professional lives too.
Some people are turning down career opportunities that require relocation or long hours.
Others are delaying retirement because their kids still need support, or their super isn’t enough.
Many feel quietly exhausted, emotionally stretched, and unsure of how to plan for a future that feels increasingly out of reach.
Even conversations at work are changing. People talk about home loans, rental stress, school fees, caregiving, and burnout—not as “extras,” but as daily realities.
So What Can We Do About It?
We might not be able to solve the housing crisis from our kitchen tables—but we can change how we think, talk, and support one another in this changing climate.
1. Prepare, Don’t Pressure
If you’re a parent, talk early and honestly with your kids about money.
If you’re not, talk with your peers, family, or community about shared costs, long-term plans, and support structures.
Normalise open, non-judgmental conversations around:
Budgeting
Shared living costs
Career flexibility
Long-term goals (and how to adjust them when life shifts)
2. Support with Structure
Whether you’re helping your child, your partner, your sibling, or your parents, set clear expectations and boundaries.
Support shouldn’t mean sacrifice. And independence doesn’t mean isolation.
Structure brings clarity:
Contribute where you can
Discuss limits kindly but firmly
Revisit agreements as situations change
3. Redefine Progress
Let go of outdated benchmarks. Home ownership, “moving out by 25,” or retiring at 60 are not the only signs of success.
Success in today’s world might look like:
Sharing a home to build financial stability
Creating side income to feel more secure
Taking care of others while still chasing personal growth
Simply surviving the month with dignity and calm
That’s not “settling”—it’s evolving.
The Quiet Truth No One Talks About
Behind all this is a deeper worry: not just if we or our kids will leave the nest, but whether we’ll be okay when we do.
Will we be able to afford our futures? Will we find connection, purpose, or space when the house finally quiets down? Will our independence feel liberating—or lonely?
The answers aren’t always clear. But here’s what I’ve learned:
A nest isn’t defined by who stays or who goes. It’s defined by how we hold space for growth, in whatever form it takes.
It’s Okay If the Nest Looks Different Now
Maybe we won’t become “empty nesters” in the traditional sense. Maybe we’ll keep the spare room ready, or stay longer in the family home, or rotate housemates like it’s uni all over again.
And that’s okay.
Because home isn’t a launchpad with a timer. It’s a place to return to, to recalibrate, to grow.
So if you're still in the thick of it—supporting, stretching, adjusting—I see you.
You’re doing better than you think.
I'd Love to Hear From You
How are you experiencing this shift?
Are you supporting adult kids or ageing parents?
Living with family to save?
Reimagining what independence looks like for yourself?
Hit reply or leave a comment—I’d love to hear your story. These aren’t just personal issues. They’re shaping how we live, work, and support each other. And the more we talk about it, the better we can adapt together.