Unsubscribed from Stress
Why Modern Life Feeds on Your Anxiety—and How to Start Living on Your Own Terms
So I Lost My Calm in Traffic Again...
Many people know this: I was born on a beautiful island. It's the kind of place where you don’t rush your tea or your thoughts, where people know how to sit still. We value rest, conversation, and eye contact, and we’re suspicious of anyone in a hurry.
But I live in the real world now. And last week, stuck in traffic, late to a meeting, trying so hard to hold onto my calm, someone cut me off. No blinker, just vibes. That little flicker of rage? It came from nowhere and everywhere at once.
My calm vanished. And I thought:
Why is stress so sticky, even when I know better?
Why does my body feel like it’s chasing after chaos… even when nothing’s actually wrong?
You’re Not Stressed. You’re Addicted (Seriously).
Dr. Joe Dispenza, a neuroscientist and author, explains it like this:
“Every thought you think creates a chemical. If you keep thinking the same way, your body gets addicted to those chemicals, especially the ones tied to stress.”
Let that sink in. Your body isn’t just reacting to stress; it’s craving it. Even when there’s no drama around, it searches for some. A snarky email. A delayed train. A memory. Anything to stay in that emotional loop.
So stress, for many of us, isn’t just a reaction.
It’s a comfort zone.
Even worse, our brains can’t tell the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. That email that didn’t come? Your brain spins a story: “What if they’re mad?” “What if I messed up?” And suddenly, you’re in fight-or-flight because your thoughts are playing games.
Why We Stay Stuck
Because it is to do with what you already know but won’t admit:
You’re not sleeping enough.
You’re on your phone before your feet hit the floor.
You’re juggling 15 tabs, mentally and literally.
And somewhere in the mix, you’re also trying to be a present parent, good partner, dependable friend, team player, overachiever, and part-time clairvoyant.
Stress feels normal because we’ve normalised dysfunction.
But normal and necessary aren’t the same thing.
So, Can You Actually Live Without Stress?
Not completely. Life’s messy. Things happen.
But you can stop letting stress take the wheel.
You can learn to:
Notice when you’ve been hijacked
Reclaim calm through small resets
Stop rehearsing worst-case scenarios
Unlearn the idea that stress equals importance
Here’s how.
Your Human-To-Human Anti-Stress Guide
Breathe like your sanity depends on it.
Three deep breaths. That’s it. Morning. Midday. Right before a tough meeting. Give your body something real to anchor to.Time-manage with kindness, not cruelty.
Stop using your calendar like it’s a punishment schedule. Batch tasks. Say no more often. Build in buffer time. You’re not a robot.Reset your nervous system daily.
Walk. Move. Stretch. Sleep. Eat something green. Your body stores stress. Don’t let it collect interest.Redraw your boundaries—then actually keep them.
Set a no-emails-after-6pm rule and defend it like it’s sacred. Because it is.Ask: “Is this real… or just familiar?”
Sometimes the panic you feel isn’t about today. It’s your nervous system revisiting an old wound. You can choose to do it differently this time.
And If It’s the Workplace That’s Burning You Out…
You’re not imagining it.
Here in Australia, 1 in 5 workers reports high psychological distress. And yet, too many organisations respond with band-aids: yoga at lunch, fruit bowls in the kitchen, and maybe a webinar on “resilience” while still expecting 10pm deliverables.
Let’s call it what it is:
Mixed messaging.
Burnout culture dressed in casual Fridays.
Productivity obsession over human sustainability.
“We talk about work-life balance like it’s a choice, but how do you unplug when silence gets interpreted as being disengaged?”
This isn’t about laziness or weakness. It’s about living in systems that reward exhaustion and call it dedication.
What’s Really Getting in the Way
So why don’t we change?
Stigma: No one wants to look like they can’t “handle it.”
Perfectionism: You tie your worth to output.
Old Patterns: Stress is what you know, it’s familiar, even when it’s harmful.
Poor Structures: You can't meditate your way out of broken job design.
It’s not just about building better habits.
It’s about building better boundaries in broken environments.
Reclaiming Calm Isn't a Luxury. It's Survival.
You don’t have to be stress-free. But you can be self-aware.
You can notice when you’ve slipped back into hustle mode.
You can pause, breathe, and adjust.
You can remind yourself that being overwhelmed isn’t proof that you’re doing something right.
“Stress isn’t the enemy. Letting it run your life, unchecked, is.”
For me, that’s the real island way.
Not some picture-perfect lifestyle—just a quiet return to what matters.
Presence. Intention. Breath.